All your base are belong to us.
Click here for The Minneapolis Years: An Archive
All your base are belong to us.
Click here for The Minneapolis Years: An Archive
June 16, 2006 AD
5 Undressed Zombies Masturbated 30 times in 2 days.
After a relatively quick trip to the DMV, I am now, officially, 100% Californian. Well, a California resident at any rate. Not a native. But then, I don't think there are any native Californians. Everybody is from somewhere else.
If I can give one piece of advice to anyone thinking about moving to our wonderful state, it is this: If you're considering buying a car, and then moving here, don't. The process of registering an out-of-state vehicle is so convoluted, it's almost ridiculous. This was true when I moved here three years ago. I simply didn't know how to go about it, and so I didn't. Then I got towed for expired registration. Now, admittedly, I have a few not-so-common circumstances that have conspired to make this a five-month journey from that moment where I had to get my car out of the impound lot and today, where I am completely street legal. These are issues you will probably not have to deal with.
Because I was given a fix-it ticket in addition to having my car impounded, I had to deal with going to court. The actual experience was painless. The judge was very nice, and since I'd paid for the registration, she threw out the ticket, and all I had to pay was the $10 fix-it fee. I thought I had to delay once (I think I was wrong, though) because of the next issue.
If you bring a car in from out of state, it must be officially identified by a DMV employee. So, I made an appointment. You can make an appointment at the DMV in California, and in theory, it reduces your wait time. However, appointments are all booked up for about a month in advance. So I made an appointment. Not so much for the reduced wait time (one good thing Schwarzenegger did when he got to Sacramento was hire more DMV workers, so wait times haven't been too bad), but because I needed to plan ahead. When I got to the DMV, I waited where I was supposed to wait, read a little bit, until the guy came out to identity my car. Now, it turns out they can't only use the plaque under the windshield to verify the VIN. But since I'd had my driver's side doors replaced after my accident, the handy little sticker was gone. This meant the DMV employee couldn't officially identify my car, so I had to make an appointment with the California Highway Patrol, again more than a month out (and this time no option to going and waiting). I did that and then had to go back to the DMV to finish up the process. Or so I thought.
Turns out, because my mom had originally been the cosigner on my car loan, the title was officially in both of our names. So I needed to mail the title to her in Wisconsin, have here sign it (I wrote up a quick release of ownership just in case) and mail it back to me. In retrospect if might have been a good idea to mail that certified, but I didn't think of it, and it all worked out. It took about two weeks, but I got the title yesterday, stopped by the DMV over my lunch hour today, and traded in my dirty Wisconsin plates for brand new shiny California ones.
I can't say exactly why, but it feels pretty good.
June 14, 2006 AD
This is me, all political and angry.
Today the Pentagon announced that the official death toll for US servicemen
in
First, the death toll for the 9/11 terrorist attacks stands at or very close
to 2,936. That's 2,752 at the
Few people realize the difference in official death toll and actual
death toll. Specifically, the official Pentagon death toll for US
servicemen (and women) killed in
 | Soldiers killed in other countries in the region! We still have
soldiers in |
| Soldiers seriously wounded who are flown out to medical facilities at US
bases in |
| Of course, this number also doesn't include private contractors, journalists and other non-military personnel. |
President Bush personally ordered that no pictures be taken of KIA personnel
arriving in the
June 14, 2006 AD
Being negative isn't always a bad thing.
Life proceeds, as if to say, "Plan? What is this 'plan' you speak
of?" And it is, for the most part, very good.
Last night I had another night of classes at ACME, and it was extremely
interesting. The exercise this week was a game called
"generations." In it, three pairs sit on stage. Each pair
represents the same two people, at different stages of life. The first
pair represents a pair from the time they first meet through graduation from
high school. The second pair represents those characters from high school
graduation until age 45, and the last pair represents those people from age 45
until death. Each pair improvises a scene that takes place anywhere in
their section on the timeline, and information is passed forward (and sometimes
backward) in time. It was an amazing experience, performance-wise,
listening to two other versions of me and picking out details of
my life as they happened, and incorporating that into my scene, which, despite
being part of a larger scope, had to contain all the elements of a complete
scene. Four stories were told, and all but one were very good. The
last was still funny, but kind of for all the wrong reasons. I'm very glad
to have been in the audience for that one. After class, I once again got a
profusion of compliments from my classmates, and though I appreciated the
praise, all I could think was that I was nowhere near as skilled as our
instructor, Dave Cox,
who is an improvisational genius. Keep in mind, dear readers (and
I know someone's reading this thing, I've had over 100 hits this week -
who are you?!?), that our class will have it's public performance at
Speaking of saving dates, I'm moving the weekend after next (25th), and I
would really appreciate any help you'd care to lend in getting my from my
apartment to my new place. It's all of a 5 mile move, and shouldn't be
difficult at all, especially if there are lots of folks to help. There is
so little stuff that I'm taking with me, that I'm actually thinking it'll be
kind of fun, and I'm providing pizza and refreshments at the new house when
everything's done Sunday night. So, it's kind of like a party, with a
little cardio thrown in! Please let me know if you can help.
Remember, it's my birthday the Thursday after that. If you don't help,
I'll expect money!
I haven't talked about this much, but I'm feeling so good about it I have to
share. Back when I was in college (and the Air Force ROTC) I was in pretty
good shape. I biked everywhere, had the metabolism of a younger man, etc.
I averaged about 180 pounds, without a whole lot of muscle, except for the time
I got really sick and lost 15 pounds (on the miracle flu diet!). When
I left school that first summer, had my eye surgery and my wisdom teeth taken
out, I gained at least 15 pounds, and I've been struggling to get back to that
target of 180 ever since (though I never topped 200, thank goodness). I
was doing ok when I moved to LA, I'd been dancing a lot in Minneapolis and exercising
in the apartment fitness room. When I moved to LA and got into a
relationship right away, I sort of let myself go. It was my fault, but
When I started temping back in February or so, everything changed. I
was mostly recovered, my car was fixed, and I was on a fairly regular schedule
at a job that left my energized and raring to go, rather than exhausted (*$).
I am a creature of habit, it's in my nature to be a little OCD about some
things. So, I started going to the gym directly after work. I
started paying attention to what I was eating, and with the extra money I was
making, buying better food, more veggies, and healthier snacks. I was also
able to eat little bits throughout the day, instead of big meals. I find
that's a great help to maintaining weight. I also made use of the personal
training sessions that I got free with my membership, which were invaluable at
showing me some important ways to make the most of my time at the gym.
This morning I weighed in at 174. I can see my abs for the first time
in my life (not washboard, to be sure, but they're there). I've
also got more muscle than I've ever had. So, yay!
I forgot to mention that last weekend at Pride, I took advantage of the free HIV testing they provide. To avoid suspense, I came back negative, as expected. However, I was fascinated (after the fact) at how I felt while I was waiting the twenty minutes for the results. Like I was sure the results would come back positive, even though I practice safe sex and don't engage in any other risky behavior. It's like when you have to talk to the police, or get called in to the principal's office, and you're sure you're in trouble, even if you can't think of anything you might have done wrong. Why is that?
June 12, 2006 AD
More good things than a tub full of good things!
Hey kids, happy Monday. It's the end of a busy day, and I wanted to stick around and recap some positives from the last week. Ready?
Brandon reminded me that the lump on Pokey's belly is indeed better. Whew. I talked to my brother, Daddy Doctor Natey McGreaty, who suggested it might have been some form of sub-dermal infection, or even a bruise. Either might not have been visible on the surface, but would have felt like a harder mass.
I found a place to live!! Two weeks ago, after looking at a half-dozen places, I connected with a guy through an ad I'd posted on Craigslist. He has a 2 bedroom house in North Hollywood that he was thinking of renting out the other bedroom to ease the cost of the mortgage. I went and met him and his two dogs to get an idea of the place. The house is very cute. Not huge, by any means, but really nice. He's doing a lot of work on it to make it even better, too. His front and back yards are beautifully landscaped, and the back is completely walled in, which is exactly what I was hoping for for Dot. His dogs are both a little bigger than Dottie, but both fantastic. Loki and Odin. Coincidence? Perhaps. The bedroom is smaller than what I've got now, but big enough for my bed, a desk, and a dresser, and it's got a decent closet. We'd share a bathroom.
Satisfied, I brought Dot with me the next day to meet his dogs and make sure they'd get along. You can never know, you know? Everything went swimmingly. Dot really took to the back yard, something she hasn't had since we moved to LA, and she got along fine with the other two pups. I hade to admit it, but I think she may have liked the fact that neither of them had the Pokeyesque habit of biting her constantly. We were there about two hours or so, and towards the end she vomited a little from being over-excited, but other than that it went great. Barry (for that is the man's name) had to go to Florida for the weekend, so we arranged for me to bring Dot back again the next week, last Wednesday, to make sure the dogs got along.
Again, all the critters were fine. Dot actually played a little with Loki in the back yard, which was fun to watch. Odin is an older dog and had a heart condition, so he doesn't do much running. The weird thing was, as soon as Dot and I left our apartment without Pokey and Oshi, she got really excited, and I think she knew where we were going. She was already an old pro at the doggie door into the back yard, and was even climbing up on Barry's lap while we sat on the back patio. Surprisingly, Loki and Odin didn't seem to mind that a bit. In fact, they both seemed to be in love with me! So, Barry and I both felt comfortable with me moving in, and I'll be doing that the last weekend in June. I'll post a bulletin, but I'll certainly appreciate any help anyone would like to give. It's my Birthday the next Thursday, and I'd be more than happy to count that as your present to me, if you're available. I couldn't be more thrilled. It's a change that's long overdue.
I volunteered at the Los Angeles Pride festival this weekend to deal poker in the country tent, and thus got free admission on Saturday and Sunday. Despite the frustration of it taking an hour to find parking on Sunday, I ended up having a hell of a lot of fun, met bunches of great people, did a ton of dancing, and got nothing else done all weekend. Awesome. The only possible downside is that it was all possible because filming had to be cancelled for the weekend because the house we were going to use wasn't available. But the shoot was postponed for July, so everything's cool.
ACME was great again, by the by. I arranged a last minute date, which was certainly different. After the show, this guy and I ended up having a conversation somewhere in the metaphysical category of topics, the likes of which I haven't had in a good decade. Unfortunately the bulk of it took place after 2am, and I'd been up since 7 that morning, so I may have been too exhausted to appreciate it.
I'm looking forward to a week of some packing, and some preparing for this coming weekend's shoot, and hopefully a less hectic week at work. Stay relaxed and groovy, boys and girls.
June 7, 2006 AD
Random bits and pieces, and my first spray tan!
I was listening to BBC World news on NPR last night, and they reported that British researchers were going to test the long term effects of low oxygen on healthy people by setting up a research facility on Mount Everest.
I'll just let that sink in a minute.
I hope you're on the same page as I am, here. Couldn't they just have a room with a controlled atmosphere, and be able to more specifically set the oxygen level to various degrees, rather than erect a lab, cart out the researchers and the volunteers, and still only have one level of oxygen to test? Oh, you Brits. Always conquering India when you can buy spices at the corner market.
Also, after filming was done on Sunday, we all went back to Steve's place to
get equipment in order, etc. Steve's new roommate, Sarah, is doing hair
and makeup for the shoot. In addition to her considerable skills
in make-up artistry, she has a small side business giving spray
tans. She had a client coming over so she offered to give us tans if we
wanted them. I had never had one, so I partook. I must say, I was
impressed. In addition to having a nice golden tan without having to risk
burning (more) or melanomas, when I looked at myself in the mirror I found it
was actually slimming. And my first tan line was kind of sexy, too. 
I do recommend it. Sarah's specialty is coming to her clients and providing a more even-looking tan than you can get in a booth, since she hand-sprays the tanning agent. She has a nifty portable booth that she can bring anywhere you are, in case you don't have a big walk-in shower. She tells me her rates are between $85-$110. Drop her a line, especially if you've got an event you need to look good for. serene_smoore@yahoo.com. Ask for Sarah Moore.
June 6, 2006 AD
In honor of Truthiness.
To shake things up, I'll write this blog in the style of The Colbert Report's segment, "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger." It's going to be a long-ish post, and I'd like to keep it interesting, while at the same time breaking it up into little bite-sized morsels. Yum.
First off, a wag of my finger to Myspace, which seems to be experiencing technical difficulties, forcing my to retype this entire entry. This isn't surprising, of course. I mean, it is a web-based application attempting to support over 60 million users. But still, people are keeping their lives on here, I think things could probably be a little more stable. I know not whether I will be able to recapture the original tone of the entry. If I don't, and it's all terribly uninteresting, you'll know why. If I do, well, then I might be a better writer than I thought. (Nothing like a bit of shameless aggrandizement to start your day!)
A big fat tip of the hat to the first successful weekend of
filming for my short film, currently titled "Another Life." I
had to wake up at 3:30am to get over to (herr Direktor) Steve Phelan's place,
where we met up with cast and crew and caravanned up to Fillmore, CA, about an
hour north and west of LA. We arrived shortly before dawn, as was the
plan, and truly, pretty much the entire first scene went as planned. There
were some concerned citizens of Fillmore that seemed to think that maybe there
really was a dead girl in the street, despite the presence of cameras and crew.
Also, we later discovered that we'd left the $300 shotgun boom microphone behind
when we left. We went back for it, but it was gone. We wrapped the
first scene by 9am, and those who were working on the next scene went
to a wonderful breakfast at IHOP, followed by coffee at Starbucks (of course).
We headed to Oxnard around 11am, to the deserted stretch of beach Steve and I
had scouted a few months back. You know, back when it wasn't summer.
Turns out there's no such thing as a deserted beach in Southern California when
it's 90 degrees on the coast on a Sunday. I wasn't optimistic, but with
some impromptu exploration and a little cheating with the camera angles, we got
the final scene in the bag, too. During the last shot, a pod of dolphins
swam by, and as soon as Steve called "cut" I stripped down and tried
to catch 'em. It's been a dream of mine to swim with dolphins, so far I've
tried and failed twice. And damn, the water was cold!
Another smidgen of bad news; in all the excitement of filming at the beach,
no one remembered to avail themselves of the sun block I brought along. I,
for one, am a little cooked. 
Going back to the beginning of the weekend, a combination tip of the hat/wag of the finger (yeah, shaking up the system right off the bat, I'm a rebel) to going to the gym on Friday. Which was great, but it was the only time last week I went. I've been pretty busy trying to find a new place to live, going to class, and getting ready for filming. The week before I only went once, too, so bad me.
A giant tip of the hat to ACME Comedy Theater, for the double feature on Friday nights of Hospital, an long-form improvised soap-opera style musical, performed by Zebra Company, ACME's premiere improv group, and Scandal!, a similar format but without the music, performed by their Yankee Company. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I'm really proud to be a part of ACME, and I'm getting good feedback so that I think it won't be too long until I'm on that stage. I have a sneaking suspicion that sketch/improv comedy is going to be my path to bigger things.
A tip of the hat to Matt, who called me when he was coming into town Friday evening with a straight friend of his so he could stop by for a Hi-and-a-hug. It was nice, despite the divergence of our social activities. It was timed well so that I came home from the gym, he was already there, we took the girls outside and chatted a bit, put the puppies away, and left; I for ACME, he for Weho.
A wag of the finger to Matt's straight friend, who thought he was going to find a straight bar in West Hollywood on a Friday night. Silly boy. I gathered that he didn't end up having that good a time.
A tip of the hat for not staying out very late on Friday
(home by 12:30am), but more importantly, for sleeping in on Saturday past 11
o'clock! I needed it. I'd been pushing myself a bit too hard last
week, not getting enough sleep, and it felt awesome. I laid in bed,
covered in puppy, reading my book for an hour or so before I got up and
leisurely started my day. I stayed in the house until about 7pm (read on
to find out why), hung out with the pups and watched some Tivo. Then I had
to run to Fry's to get some tapes for shooting on Sunday, go to the bank, and to
the laundromat all before 10. I came home, put away all my clothes,
prepped everything I needed to take with my the next day (still forgot stuff, of
course. It's still me), and finally got to bed about 2:30am, for an hour of
sleep. 
A wag of my finger to the lump I found on Pokey's tummy when I was laying in bed petting her. It makes me nervous. Dot's never had anything like it, and she's six years old. Po's only three. I had Gabe look at it. He's not a vet or anything , but he's well-versed in medical science. He didn't know what it was on sight either, and was concerned enough that he suggested Brandon take her to the vet. Brandon was at work, so I left a message on his voicemail. I just waited for a while for him to come home, so I could tell him and show him at the same time. It could just be a fatty cyst, some sort of growth related to her spaying (though not quite in the right place for that, I don't think), or something worse. I hope I hope not something worse. If laughter really were the best medicine, Pokey could rid the world of disease.
A serious wag of the finger to Brandon, the reason I didn't leave the house until 7pm Saturday night. I hadn't tried calling him as the afternoon rolled on, because I knew he was covering a shift at Starbucks, and he can't have his phone on at work anyway. Sometimes he has to stay late in those situations, and even though I was pretty sure he opened, I wasn't positive. I also was fairly certain he'd call on his way home given the content of my message. He didn't call until after 5pm, telling me he'd gone directly to his new boyfriend's place after work, without even stopping home, and without regard to my schedule. I was upset, but not overly so. Despite the fact that he didn't know it, I was home, and the girls were fine. I told him what Gabe said about Pokey, and that he needed to be home early Sunday morning because I was leaving the house at 3:30am. I didn't get really upset until I called on my way home from filming Sunday evening around 6pm, to have him tell me he was only just on his way home then. He had been gone from 4am on Saturday until 6pm on Sunday. 38 hours. The puppies themselves had been alone since 3:30am, and it had been a little after midnight since they'd been fed and walked last. He knew I was filming on Sunday, yet wanted to hang out with his boyfriend. Yeah, I was a little furious. I honestly don't know what's going to happen after I leave. He already gave Isis away to friends of ours because he didn't want to take care of her. He's already suggested at least twice that he find Pokey a new home, because it was hard to find a place to live with two dogs. I told him in no uncertain terms that he made a soul-binding pact with Pokey, Oshi and Isis when he adopted them to take care of them until death, above all other considerations. That's the responsibility I took on with Dot. She's more important to me than anything. More then my social life, more than my job, more than seeing my family, and certainly more than a boyfriend. I don't know. I worry. Even though they're not technically my pets, I loved Isis, and I love Oshi and Pokey as if they're my own. I'm going to miss them all so much. Well, poop, now I'm crying at work. Why the hell am I so damned emotional? (by the way, the poop Oshi left on the carpet was still there when I left for work Monday morning)
Brandon does deserve a tiny little tip of the hat for being able to give me the balance of his rent in check form on Friday. He had been $240 short when I dropped rent off on Thursday, and had thought he wouldn't be able to pay the rest until the 16th. This is not that unusual for us. Each of us has helped the other through tough times. I've lent Brandon thousands of dollars over the course of our relationship, and he's lent me hundreds at other times. This was different, though. He only had enough because of an unexpected payment on his paycheck, probably the store bonus from last quarter. Otherwise, he's not been responsible with his money lately. He goes out at least weekly and buys drinks, which aren't cheap in LA. He goes to dinners with his new man, at least one of which I know he paid for, and even spent the whole of Memorial Day weekend in San Diego with Jason, a trip where he paid for at least the tickets to the zoo and Sea World. (I stayed home and took care of the dogs without so much as a thank you). And I'm supposed to cover his rent? I'm not his boyfriend anymore. I've sacrificed enough in the months since the breakup; my friends not the least of things, all while dealing with his simmering resentment of me. You know, never mind. I just need to get out, I think.
I'll end with a tip of the hat to going to bed at 7:30 Sunday night, and sleeping relatively soundly for 12 hours. I really needed the sleep, and I felt great all through Monday. I even went to the gym after work!
June 5, 2006 AD
FUCK A DUCK. (included for posterity's sake)
God damned myspace. I just wrote one of my longest entries yet, took me almost 4 hours of on-and-off typing while I was at work, yet it was set up in an easy to read, easily accessible (dare I say fun?) way, and when I clicked "preview & post" nothing happened. Blank screen with only a banner ad full of emoticons looking at me like they were wondering what I'd expected would happen. Of course, I clicked "back" hoping it would all be there, like sometimes is the case when dealing with web forms, and all I got was this blank blog-entry form. All lost. And you know how hard it is to recreate that shit. And even if you do, it always feels false somehow.
So, note to all of you and to my future self: ALWAYS copy your blog entry before you try to submit, because Myspace has become so big and unstable that this type of thing is very common. Poop. Also, if you forget to copy, and this happens to you, don't click "back." Try to refresh first.
June 2, 2006 AD
No blog today, sorry. I'm at my arraignment.
I'll be honest, I'm not feeling particularly bloggy today. It's not like it's been a bad week, but I think in addition to not getting quite enough sleep I'm in a period of general "meh"-ness. Last weekend I went to a carnival-themed party where I obtained the caricature you now see in my pics page, as well as some cotton candy. It was a cool party, mostly because there was one of those bouncy-castle things. This one came with a topless girl. It's been a while since I've been to a carnival, but I understand this is kind of a rarity. Boobies and children seem to not mix well, at least once they reach that certain age of comprehension. Boobies and me? Oh, well we mix just fine.
I caught The DaVinci Code and X-Men: The Last Stand on Saturday. One was a well-acted, competently directed visualization of its source material, the other let me down with the force of some sort of mutant super-disappointment ability. I'll leave it to you figure out which was which. I got into the gym Saturday night because, well, it's not like I had anything else to do. I also hadn't been in a week, so I was a bit disappointed in myself. There was also some naughtiness diet-wise, which Memorial Day didn't help. It felt good to get back to the gym, though. And going at night is great because it's so empty you can use any machine you want, and you don't have to wait for the balls to be free.
Sunday was a lazy day, mostly about sleeping late and catching up on some Tivo (I've been watching remarkable little TV lately). Gabe didn't' seem to be around, Brandon was in San Diego with his new boyfriend, and Matt, who I'd been planning on spending the weekend with, decided he wanted to stay up in Bakersfield with a boy he found who he really likes. Disappointing, yeah, but understandable. I sent out some evites for a very impromptu "party" for Memorial day for people who didn't already have plans, and got a bunch of confirmations, and a whole slew of "maybes," which is totally LA. It was supposed to start at noon, and I puttered around the apartment cleaning until 3, when the first guest arrived. Oddly enough, about six people showed up in the following 20 minutes. I made grilled chicken salads for everyone, and we ended up playing games until about 2am, with a break to run to the store for pizzas and desert.
And then back to work on Tuesday. I felt really mellow and unfocused at improv class Tuesday night, but one of the girls told me I killed her a couple of times, so I guess I was ok. It was Fairy Tale Night, where a group of 4-5 acts out a fairy tale, with the assistance of a narrator. It was fun, I played the Big Bad Wolf in Little Red Riding Hood, and the dad/woodsman in Hansel and Gretel. One interesting thing I'm seeing, is that some of the people I consider I consider to be the best in class are looking to me surreptitiously before groups perform, to see if I'll go up with them. Well, it embiggens the spirit.
Oh, mayhap you're curious about the headline to this long post which I was apparently too disinclined to write? I had the court date for the ticket connected to my expired registration (for which I was towed a while back). I've spent a good deal of time over the last five months trying to get that dealt with, and let me tell ya, getting an out of state car registered in California is a lot like other activities with which I'm reasonably familiar, but without the lube. It's nearly done, though, and done enough for the judge, who pleasantly dismissed the ticket. I paid the $10 fix-it fee and was back to work in no time. As for actually getting the new plates and registration, I have to have my mom sign the title and return it to me so I have 100 percent ownership of my car. It's not quite over...
Other than that, the last two weeks have been spent playing with my new mac (still making the switch!) and looking for places to live, as I've submitted my 30 day notice to my landlord. Brandon and Gabe are staying in the apartment for the time being. I guess they're going to try to find someone to move in in my stead. I've visited several places, and have mostly been unsuccessful in finding that great place, but the other day I met with a guy in North Hollywood who is renting out a room in his house, and I think it's the one. He has two dogs, a little bigger than Dot, and I was a bit nervous about that. After visiting with him myself on Wednesday, took Dot with me on Thursday and everything went swimmingly. There wasn't so much as a growl, and Dot seemed very comfortable, if a bit nervous. His backyard is landscaped and beautiful, and he's in a nice neighborhood which is pretty much equidistant from work for me. It's a smaller space than I'm in now, but rent will be about the same, and being out of my apartment is what I need right now. You all know that.
Tonight it's the gym for the first time since Saturday (bad me, I know), and I'm going to try to get down to ACME for a show my instructor is in. Should be a fun time.
May 26, 2006 AD
PCs killed my dad, and raped my mom, but I wish macs were easier.
So, the switch from my PC to my mac G5 is still underway. I've got most of my files moved; music, pictures, porn, etc. But I knew the tricky part was going to be getting my emails from Outlook 2003 over to whichever mail program I decided on (as it turns out, it's Entourage, which is basically "Outlook for mac" and combines the mail, iCal, and address book into one application). This is what the Apple web site says on transferring your email messages. Bear in mind I'm moving about 10 years worth of emails:
Moving (non-AOL) email messages using IMAP
Now, I thought macs were easier than this. I mean, I don't know what the hell an IMAP account is, how do they expect their target consumers (the ones looking for simplicity and quality) to understand this? I know it sucks to be the underdog, but I would have figured the geniuses at Apple would have made a program that would automatically convert your Outlook emails and export them to your new mac.
Well, as it turns out, it is easier. All that stuff up there? All it means is, set up your web-based email (.mac, Hotmail, etc.) to access in Outlook and Entourage. I set up a .mac account, but ended up using Hotmail because you get 250MB of storage versus 25MB. So, drag your emails from your Outlook mailbox into your Hotmail Mailbox. Once they're transferred (I had so many I had to break up the process), go to your mac, access your hotmail account with Entourage, and drag all the emails into your Entourage inbox (or any subfolder you prefer). That's it! The only minor annoyances are that all the emails will appear as unread, but all you have to do there is select all, right-click, and select "mark as read". You will also have an attachment on almost every message with some weird specific Microsoft info. Not sure why, there doesn't' seem to be any actual data there, but if you hate seeing the little paperclip symbol, or if you think it'll impede your ability to find real attachments, Entourage makes it easy to select and delete these. The process can potentially take a long time, since you're transferring between web-based emails. Meh. All my dates and times were intact, and Entourage even still sees which messages I've replied to, even if it was done four years ago on my PC. I'm happy. Oh, yeah, I had to ditch that POS single-button mouse. What was Apple thinking with that? I love my MS Intellimouse, and it works great on my G5.
There's only one gripe I have at this point: I wish there was a program more like Windows Explorer to browse the files and folders on my mac. Finder just doesn't arrange them the way I like. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. The fact that it doesn't appear to have the option to, though, is upsetting.
May 24, 2006 AD
Catharsis can be funny.
First off, thanks so much to everyone who offered hugs and kind words after my last entry. It really helped my get through whatever negativity had been in my path last week. This weekend I was able to make some progress. It wasn't easy. I got home from work and the gym and my house was full of all these people I was supposed to be letting go of. Seeing Jonas was certainly uncomfortable, but he didn't attempt to talk to me, so I guess that's that. Jeb gave me a hug hello, as did Jeremy and Nick and Ian. I gave Nick some tips on affecting a Brooklyn accent for a shoot he had over the weekend. Brandon got upset that I was uncomfortable with Jonas (wtf?!?), but I managed to calm that situation down and headed out pretty quick to go to No Shame. Where I got more love from E & C, and Joanne, and Tanaya, and everybody.
Long Beach pride was fine, nice to experience, and I started my new assignment on Monday. Originally I'd been told it was a month, which was small consolation for not getting the several-month long assignment in HR. However, I had a short conversation with the director of the department and she clarified her intentions for me. Once the girl I'm subbing for now comes back, I'm going to move to the other assistant's desk. He's going on vacation next week, so I'll cover his stuff. The girl who is out now is expected to give her notice when she returns, because she found another job, and when she goes, I'll move back into this position and cover it until they hire someone to fill it, or, possibly, fill it myself. So, that's cool, I'm going to be busy for a while. Well, "busy."
Good news #2, I've been getting some responses about a place to live. Haven't found the perfect place yet, but I realize I may not have the luxury of being as picky as I would otherwise have been. I still have time, and now it looks like I'll have enough money to cover moving expenses. yay!
Lastly, my Acme class last night went great. I made improvements, missed some opportunities, but for the most part, I felt on. I was aggressive in getting to perform in the extra scene at the end of the night (only three people left when six were needed), and it was pretty fantastic. I got to play Jesus, and he ended up being kind of a petulant teenager. It was fun. And that was good thing #3. I hope it's not true that I have to have three bad things now, because quite frankly, the bad things have been a bit overpowering over the last six months or so.
Gotta run, I have a production meeting/ BBQ for the cast of what is now
tentatively titled "Another Life" - my short film. 
May 22, 2006 AD
Didn't we just have a weekend?
Have you ever had one of those weekends where, despite the absence of mind-altering chemicals, you don't really remember anything about it? This last weekend was like that. When I sit and think about it, I can recreate most of the events in my head, but otherwise, it's mostly a blur.
No Shame was surprisingly unspectacular, considering it was the 100th show and all, except for being twice as long as normal. About 75 percent of the show consisted of previously-performed material. They stressed in the program that it wasn't a "best of" show, and it most assuredly wasn't. Starting with the original No Shame Theme Song (I'm super glad they eventually decided to go funny with that), several of the pieces, chosen by the authors for whatever twisted reason, varied in quality. Highlights were a Christmas scene from Ben Zolno and an inspired use of a fake tarantula that falls in love with a human girl. Needless to say, it ends tragically. I acted in one scene, a spoof on "Deadwood" that doubled as a commentary on the FCC and censorship. By the end of it all, I found myself wishing that I was a No Shame producer, so that I could act more. Have I ever mentioned that I don't like watching theater? I'm far too critical, most of the time.
After the show, a few of us (Eric and Catherine, the usual crew) went to Norms, our lesson learned from last week's Swingers fiasco. We had a fun time, Catherine bought a giant brownie ice cream strawberry banana bonanza for us to split, and it was delicious. The evening was highlighted by a trip to the bathroom with Eric where we discussed Ostriches, and I made what I thought to be a funny joke about Ostrich Week on the Discovery Channel. Eric didn't agree, so we recreated the conversation back at the table. Apparently he was right.
After a few hours of sleep, I got up Saturday and took care of the girls (Brandon spent the weekend with his new man Jason and charged me with the pups through Monday morning) and dashed over to Steve/Chad/Tyler's to be a production assistant for a day while they shot a short film. It's a neat little short, written and directed by the Chad Peter himself. One of their friends, who I'd seen in a fantastic Star Wars fan film, was costarring in this, and it was cool to meet him. Upon my arrival I was sent to get food, and that's pretty much all I did until shooting wrapped at 4pm. I bopped over to the salon afterwards and got a great haircut, then dashed back home to take care of the fur-people. Things get a little blurry then... maybe I took a nap? In any case, much later I was chatting online while I futzed with my new mac, and agreed to go out with this guy I'd kinda-sorta been chatting with for a few months. He picked me up and we went to Fuel in Studio City, which was dead and sucky. We tried down the street at Oilcan Harry's, and I had no idea what to expect on a Saturday night, but it was actually pretty happening. Saturdays there are Retro Disco night, and there's no cover. It was crowded, which was nice, and the drinks were cheaper so my companion downed four more while we were there. We found it hard to dance and the crowd was a tad old for our tastes, so we decided to hop on over the hill to Mickey's in West Hollywood, which we knew to be open till 4am on weekends. It was now almost 2.
I drove.
By now my companion was thoroughly smashed, and I realized through the short remainder of the evening that he was one of those people who, instead of bringing light into the world by being positive and kind, sucks it out by being mean and judgmental. In short, not the kind of person I wanted to be around, especially now. I drove us to my place to drop myself off, and told him I'd give him another chance at a nice evening if he didn't drink. I don't know why.
One other thing happened Saturday night. I say "happened," but it was really just stupidity on my part. I can't believe I'm going to admit this...I was going to hop in the shower in preparation for the night out, and I realized I should do some manscaping. For those of you who don't watch Queer Eye, manscaping is a term used to describe the trimming of body hair, so one doesn't have forests growing about themselves. Well, I had noticed a bottle of Nair under the bathroom sink, left over from when I played a cancer patient in "My Mother's Veins," and I thought I'd try it again. Long story short, I nearly burned my nipples off. At least, that's what it felt like. Luckily, I had some hydrocortisone ointment, and I smeared it copiously onto my chest and abs. But seriously, ouch.
I got to bed around 4 or 5am, after watching some TV when I got home, and completely slept through my alarm clock, which was supposed to get me up at 8am so I could make it down to Long Beach by 10 for my friend Frank's Long Beach Pride breakfast, overlooking the parade route. I didn't make it down until 2, finally got hold of Frank at 3, and we went to the festival (only my second Pride Festival ever). We made a circuit of the grounds, which were huge, but ended up spending most of the time at the country tent, two-stepping and line dancing. It was a really fun time, despite some mild gloominess in the weather. Frank paid for my entrance, some food and drinks while inside. Thanks Frank! The rain started on my way home. After walking & feeding the puppies, Gabe and I sat down to watch "Family Guy," but it was simply an airing of the Stewie Griffin Movie, so we watched the "Desperate Housewives" season finale instead. Whew! A whole lot of stuff went down on Wysteria Lane last night. Went to bed late again last night. What is it with me?
I woke up more or less on time this morning for my first day at this new assignment, which now seems to only be a week long, not a month as I was originally told. More on that later in the week. I did notice two things when I got up, though: one, my chest and stomach no longer hurt (except for my nipples, which are still a bit tender), and I looked HOT! That clinched it. If I can afford it, I'm getting the laser hair removal. All the work I've been doing at the gym just popped without hair to hide it. Hey, I gotta feel good about something, right? I ended up getting lost on the way to work because I was given the way wrong address. The good news is that the location is a lot closer than I previously thought it was going to be. Which I guess doesn't matter as much if it's only for a week. Meh. What are you gonna do?
This assignment, by the way, is a piece of cake. It's almost criminal
how much they're paying me to sit around and surf the web all day. And
they know that's what I'm doing, too. I'm in a little building,
there are only like 8 people here, including myself. I'm in an office
bigger than some VPs get, and the office manager told me, "yeah, a lot
of time, you'll just have nothing to do." Well, I have no trouble
keeping myself busy, even if it's my own stuff. And I did make it clear
that I wanted to be helpful in any way if I could, so don't be all judgmental. 
This week will be devoted to pursuing some leads I've got on places to live. So, um, if you know anyplace that allows dogs...
May 19, 2006 AD
Another day, another Chicken Little bobble-head.
I'm back to work today, my first day of work this week, which sucks. The last week has been all over the place for me, emotionally. Friday night was a fun No Shame, and I'm looking forward to tonight's 100th show and final one for this season. Saturday I spent with Steve Phelan going over casting choices for what is now titled "Another Life," but not before getting into yet another fight with Brandon - I can't remember what about - and declaring my intention to move out by the end of June. I've since learned that he had not only been actively looking at places, but had actually submitted applications. Steve was fantastic. Quite honestly I spent a good deal of the late morning and early afternoon in tears, thinking about the loss of a friend and of the likelihood that I wouldn't be able to see Pokey and Oshi (technically not my dogs but still my babies) after Brandon and I parted ways. Other people, especially straight male friends, probably wouldn't have been able to deal with it, but Steve gave me a hug, listened to me talk, and then kept me around all day for a free screening of "Brick" at the Fox Studios lot (it was great), a slice of New York Style pizza in Westwood, and the best ice cream sandwich I've ever had at Didi Reese (and they're only a buck!). Round it all off with some time at an honest to god video game arcade, where the most expensive game was $.50, and I was feeling pretty good by the end of the night. Alas, it wouldn't last long.
Sunday we scheduled two screen tests for the lead female role in "Life" and they both went well, though we were able to make a choice and picked our lead to round out the cast. I think I ended up going to the gym on Sunday, staying out late since I didn't have any work on Monday.
I'd been getting feedback from Brandon regarding the group I'd grown close to since about February or so (and were in fact the motivators for my getting into Myspace). According to him, most of them were mad at me for some reason. He told me he kept telling them they should talk to me, but to date, none had. I'd made some unreturned calls, sent unreplied myspace messages, and apologized to Jeb via email for an argument we'd had, but otherwise I had no idea what I was supposed to have done. Jonas had evited me to a movie night this coming Saturday, and I'd RSVP'd that I was going to attend since I wouldn't be able to make a June date, and it'd been too long since I'd seen him, etc. Brandon told me later that he was perhaps the most upset at me. Well, I couldn't figure this out, so I called him on the phone, told him about the invite and the subsequent conversation with Brandon, and asked if we were cool or if the invite was a mistake. He confirmed me that the invite was indeed an oversight and that he was mad at both how I treated Brandon, and how I treated him. For the sake of magnanimousness I won't write how unfair I feel that statement to be, but the fact was that Brandon's comments appeared to be accurate. I'd lost about five or six of what I'd considered to be good and true friends - people that weren't defined by the usual LA drama. I felt abandoned. I was running errands when I made that call and was near tears again while I was walking through the Target, and have been in a pretty bad funk all week. This lifted somewhat yesterday when I finally got out of the house to do laundry, and go again to the gym, and then to Oil Can Harry's for line dancing. Jeremy and Nick were there, and seemed enthusiastic to see me, which is nice because out of this group of friends they were the ones who seemed the most honest, straightforward, and together. They were the ones I felt closest to. We'll see what happens. To be honest, I feel like I've tried to extend my hand, but no one was there to take it, and though I quickly get emotionally invested in my friends, I have the ability to protect myself from further pain. To be clear, I don't think that any of them intentionally set out to hurt me. But for the people I let into my life, my trust doesn't need to be earned. Once it's lost, though, it's tough to get back, and that kills me more than anything else.
I also just learned that I didn't get that long-term temp job I interviewed for twice. That double-sucks because it effectively cost me $200 to go to that interview, because I'd gotten a two-day assignment on Monday and Tuesday that I couldn't do because I'd have had to be late on Tuesday. The bright side is that I did get a one-month assignment in one of Disney's legal departments. This will help me get through the move, and keep me on my feet, at least temporarily.
PS. If you're reading this, I appreciate you. I especially want to make sure that the people I love know that I love them, even though I may not say it enough. Keith, Sarah, Geoffrey, Amanda, Becky, and Eric from afar; Matty, Steve, Mary, Jay, Catherine, Eric, Mike and David here in LA. Thank you for your friendships. Jeez, and now I'm crying at work. Why am I so freakin' emotional?
May 12, 2006 AD
TGIFTIDRHTDOAW.
Thank goodness it's Friday, though I didn't really have that difficult of a week.
For example, today I'm working at the Walt Disney Pictures Music Production office, but the VP I'm supporting is over at Sony recording the soundtrack for Pirates of the Caribbean 2, so I'm basically sitting here doing whatever the hell I want. It's my first time in an office with a mac (eMac G4) for any extended length of time - though when they called me for the assignment and asked if I was proficient on a Mac I said "Yes, of course I am" - and I'm excited to practice the skills I'll be using with my G5 system, as well as see the performance of a machine that should be about half as fast as my new baby.
It's also only my third day of work this week, which isn't as much as I'd like, but it's better than two, which is better than one, etc. I've got a second interview next week for that job at the Disney HR department that I interviewed for last week. This seems odd to me. All I've heard is that it's a temp job. Relatively long term, sure, but still only a couple months, from what I've been told. Interviewing a temp at all is rare, that's the temp agency's job. But interviewing one twice? I'm thinking this is actually a temp-to-hire position. Which would be good for me. It gives me the chance to prove how good I am before they offer me a permanent position, at which point I'd be in a position of power and I can say, "hmmm... I don't know..."
This week has been dominated by meetings with potential cast members for "Touch," and I couldn't be more pleased by the turnout. I kind of liken the experience to the Drake Equation; Of all the actors in LA, a certain number are non-union; of those a certain number will submit to our casting notice; of those, only a small number will have the right look and good resumes/training for us to want to see; of those we invite to meet, only a few will make appointments; of those, a certain number will flake out, leaving those we actually meet. We still met with at least 20 people for 4 roles, and have found some excellent actors that I'll be thrilled to have involved. I'm very excited that there will actually be a difficult decision-making process. We're even going to have to screen-test a couple of Samanthas! I also got very enthusiastic feedback from the script itself.
We are still needing more people to be involved, and I'd love nothing more than to get help from friends who want to lend a hand. We need a few extras for a beach scene, as well as for a hospital scene. The beach scene will be out by Oxnard, for about 4 hours on either the first or second Sunday in June. A set photographer would be great, too... Also, still looking for funds. Only a few hundred dollars for props and food for cast & crew. If you have any connections (or extra money), all financial contributions will be considered investments and will be repaid should the film ever make money.
Lets see... there was one more thing... oh! I had to take a trip to the Beverly Hills Courthouse yesterday to try to deal with my car's registration. The fix-it ticket is due on the 19th, but the soonest I could get an appointment with the California Highway Patrol to identify my car was the 17th (the DMV can't do it because after my accident the drivers side doors were replaced, and they need to have a sticker that is usually there in addition to the VIN plate under the windshield). I'm a bit worried because I'm not sure what else needs to be done after that. Getting an out-of-state car registered in California is so freakin' complicated. So now, in addition to needing to take a long lunch on the 17th, I have to go to court and see a judge on the 2nd of June, and I'm not even sure what for. Blah. It's cool, though, at least I'm not in trouble.
May 9, 2006 AD
Just a quick entry (yeah right, I always say that) about yesterday. After work I had to run home for a couple minutes then dash again to Starbucks for meetings with potential cast for "Touch." As per usual, we got a slew of submissions via Nowcasting.com, and had pared the choices down to those who both had the right look and a decent resume with some training. We set up three days of meetings this week, just to meet people. We'll do screen tests another time if we need them.
I'm happy to report that we have girls we love for both Samantha and Pauline, and a Mary (mom) I'd be happy with, after only the first day. Basically it alleviates a bit of the pressure of dealing with the possibility of "settling" for an actress for a role that really makes or breaks this short.
I'm still looking for some extras, if there's anybody who wants to help with a beach scene we're filming... I'd only need about 5 people or so for less than 4 hours in the afternoon on a Sunday in June. It's a beach scene, a group of young friends are swimming/surfing when one of them drowns. Anyone? Drop me a line. There is one non-union speaking roll for a young man surfer-type as well, though we are meeting some potentials for that later in the week.
May 8, 2006 AD
Too tired to blog.
Another long, productive weekend, I'm pleased to say. Friday after work I went directly to the gym for a nice full workout. I got home in time to rush through printing out copies of that night's scripts for No Shame Theater. I really need to fix or replace my old HP 6L laser printer. As it is, I have to feed one sheet of paper at a time, which is maddening to say the least. And as the only working printer in the house, I've graciously shared it on the network, and almost every time I need to print something, there's some project in the queue from one of my roommates that they didn't take the time to actually print out. In all the excitement of printing out a new sketch that turned out to be 7 pages (times 6 copies, for each character and the lighting guy and the theater archives) as well as a short PSA spoof I'd originally written for Toure de Farce 2, I completely forgot to pint copies of the dramatic scene I'd written. The one I was going to do last week but was too late to be in the order. They'd reserved an extra space for me so I could do that and a new one this week. No matter, I ended up substituting the PSA, which ended up getting a great response. The longer scene also was well-received, and with the exception of one weird scene, the night was leaps and bounds better than the previous week. Afterwards, a bunch of us went to Norm's for dessert and appetizers, and to work out some details for another big scene I'm writing for next week. There are only two more weeks of No Shame this season. The 19th is going to be a big shindig, I guess, and I'm not certain if there are going to be original pieces that night, so this Friday might be the last chance you get to see fresh stuff for several months. I do wonder if anyone actually cares.
We were out very late Saturday, and coupled with my usual level of weekly sleep deprivation, I was in bed until about 1:30pm. I didn't mind a bit. I walked the dogs, and headed over to Steve Phelan's (after a quick stop at Starbucks for some liquid motivation) to take a final look at actor submissions for "Touch" and make final selections as to who we wanted to see. That done, I stopped at the bank to deposit the remainder of Brandon's rent/utility money and my own paycheck, and returned home. I watched some Tivo and made calls to the actors we wanted to meet with (we're not doing traditional auditions initially, just informal meetings), and because I slept so late, I couldn't fall asleep until 4 or 5 in the morning. I know, bad me.
Sunday! Woke up a bit later than I'd wanted, just after 10am. Steve and the crew were supposed to arrive to begin prepping to finish filming Steve's project, "Open Up." They got to the apartment just as I was getting the puppies outside for their first walk. The day went very well, and principal filming was wrapped. All that needs to be done now is some POV shots of one of the characters running up some stairs. I'm not in this one, but we did film a small portion of the film with me as one of the main characters, for use in my demo reel. With filming finished, I headed off to Starbucks for coffee night. I hadn't heard that anyone was going to show up, so I brought Brandon's laptop along to prepare a copy of the script to send to the actors we were meeting, as well as send out the meeting info. Unfortunately, the Ventura and Allott location was closed for remodeling, so I went to the next one down the street. That one was full to capacity, so I went to the Sherman Oaks Galleria, where my gym is, and did my work there. I finished up my work around 11:30pm, and was on the fence about going to the gym or returning home. What tipped the scales was the fact that the parking garage gates were still manned and I'd forgotten to get validated. So rather than pay for parking, I went to the gym. Got a good workout, too. I got home around 1:30am or so, chatted very briefly with Metz, fed the girls, and hit the sack.
This morning, I woke up to find that Pokey had diarrhea as a result of her
ingesting a large amount of Entemann's Coffee Cake while we were filming
yesterday, so I had to clean some of that up. Not all, since I was already
running late for work and didn't have time to scrub, but I just couldn't leave
it there.
Oh, but some good news? I'm soon going to be a mac user. Steve's roommate Tyler is selling he his G5 system. It's a bargain, and as a result I'll be able to start editing my own projects again. It has the added bonus of pushing back the need to buy a new system by at least a year or so. I'm very excited!
May 5, 2006 AD
Geniuses I have known: Eddie Izzard
OK, so I don't know Eddie Izzard, but I've been a big fan of his for about eight years, when Glorious appeared on HBO. I own all the DVDs of his shows, and have at least two of them memorized. I recently added Eddie to my friends list (the only friend I don't personally know) so I could get updates on his shows and Los Angeles appearances. I missed one a couple months back, and thought it'd be a while before I had another chance.
Last Wednesday or Thursday I saw the bulletin. Eddie was going to be back in town at the Coronet theater from May 2nd to the 5th! Tickets go on sale Saturday at 2pm! No price was listed. I set my phone alarm for 1:55pm, so I could get a head start. Saturday rolled around, and I was sitting in the apartment when the alarm went off. Steady, Travis, everything is set. The number to the theater is in the phone, you just have to wait a few minutes... hold... hold... NOW! I pushed "talk" on my cell, practically tasting the victory of having secured tickets to my favorite stand-up comedian.
I heard the shrill buzz of a busy signal. No worries, I'll try again. And again. And again. For two hours, I called the line, attempting to connect. Constantly at first, then intermittently. Finally, after 4pm, while Matt and I were at Starbucks, I connected. I begged the guy who answered to tell me that the shows weren't sold out. He acquiesced, saying there were still tickets available for Thursday. "How many can I get?" Only two per order. "How much are they?" Twenty-Five dollars. Hmm. It had been my plan to get at least one extra ticket and then treat a friend or two to the show by posting a myspace bulletin and giving the tickets to the first people to reply, but I really couldn't eat $25 just then. I was running out of time, I had to make a decision. "I'll take 'em!" I proclaimed, damn the consequences.
As it happened, Benj Geuhner, a nice guy I'd done some extra work with and was in the last couple weeks of improv with, was a big Eddie fan and wanted the other ticket. Arrangements were made, and I met Benj at the Coronet theater in Hollywood last night.
Coincidentally, Brandon's new beau had secured tickets as well for the Wednesday night show, so not only was Brandon able to confirm that it was a great show before I went myself, we were able to compare notes after I got home. It was a great show. I laughed quite a bit, and it was a thrill to see Eddie up close (we got seats in the fourth row, right in the center). With the exception of a couple lines from previous shows like, "a creeping kid! For my new movie, The Creeping Kid!" and a retread of the Great Escape, Darth Vader at the Death Star canteen, and other bits here and there, I think it was all original material.
I call Eddie a genius because not only is he a wonderful standup with a wealth of knowledge to draw on, but he's a fantastic improviser. It seems as though he has a general idea of where he wants to go and points he wants to touch on, but he invariable goes off on these tangents that lead him so far astray that when he does come back on track - which he always does - the jump seems so random that it's funny in and of itself! He also had the ability to take external stimuli and incorporate it into the act, from audience reactions (or lack thereof) to his own performance. In improvisational terms, he's constantly giving himself offers, and taking them, and then making fun of them, often in the form of one character making fun of another's mime. I also learned from Brandon that the content of the performances between Wednesday and Thursday were very different, which is another mark of a great artist.
If you're not a fan of Eddie Izzard, you probably should be. If only so can know where people get it when they say they like their coffee "covered in bees!!"
May 4, 2006 AD
Locked doors...
Yeah, so this is more of a "for the record" post. The past week has been fairly uneventful. Matt came down for a great weekend. We ended up being 10 minutes late to No Shame Theater Friday night, and because the queue was full they wouldn't let me do the piece I'd prepared. It was a dramatic scene, which is a departure for me, but I was really happy with it, and upset that I couldn't do it. Plus, I only got cast in one piece (great parody of United 93), with only 2 lines. So, I was a crab for most of the night. My apologies for that to those who were affected. Afterwards, though, Matt and I joined Eric and Catherine for a wonderful time at Denny's, which apparently is a great place to work, according to the sign on the wall. Also, the deserts are "Yum. Yum. Yum." FYI. We spent much of the time complaining about how mediocre No Shame was that night. I mean, there were some downright bad pieces. Which of course didn't help my mood during the show. After Denny's, Matt and I went back to the apartment full and sleepy.
Saturday was a nice lazy day. We basically took our time doing stuff like walking the dogs, eating breakfast, and running some errands, then stopped at Starbucks for coffee and more laziness. Sweet Steamy Pee Pee met us there so we could talk about the upcoming short film I wrote and he's directing for me. Then followed a bit more lazy until Matt and I left to go to an Acme show in Hollywood. It was a preview performance, and was ok. The seats at Acme could be more comfortable, but I realized while watching that I at least have the potential to be on par with Acme Company, the top tier of sketch writers at Acme. That made me feel good. I had a bit of a headache at the end of the sketch show, but a grande green tea latte from Starbucks cleared that up. We went dancing, for all of ten minutes, then it was Matt's turn to be a crab, so we walked around Weho for a bit before settling on Here, which is a ritzy little bar I hadn't been to since my first week in LA. It was nice, and we sat on a couch by ourselves for a while. I ended up dancing for Matt's amusement, and that brought him around a bit. We got home well after midnight and I finally got to watch Brokeback Mountain. I dozed off a little, admittedly, but the movie was only okay for me. For dramatic gay movies, though, I think Boys Don't Cry had more resonance.
Matt had to leave very early Sunday, and the rest of the day was the lazy, catch-up-on-Tivo sort of day for me. Coffee night was a complete bust. Not one friend showed up or called, which I guess is a testament to the mindset of the general community in LA. I can't help being upset, though, because it's become one of the only nights that I can look forward to seeing my friends, many of whom I feel have begun to care less and less about me. I realize I'm at least partially to blame, since I've allowed my career goals to take me from Tuesday karaoke and Friday game night. But when I try to organize something as an alternative it's shot down. I'll keep going every Sunday, until I get fed up with it, because I'm an optimist, I suppose. If only one other person shows up, then that's enough people for a game of chess. I do wish myspace could schedule recurring events. That might help to keep it in people's minds.
No work on Monday, but I did interview for a longish-term temp assignment in Disney's HR department, which would be the place to be if I were looking for a permanent position. I'm not sure if I am or not. The interview went very well, though. Afterwards I went to the DMV to try to get my car registration finalized, but because the left doors had been replaced on my car after the accident, the ID stickers were gone, and I guess that one little VIN plate under the windshield isn't enough to confirm the ID of the vehicle, so now I have to go to the California Highway Patrol on the 17th to have them ID the car. Oh, and the court date for my ticket is the 18th. Whatever. What a freakin' tiring process. No wonder I didn't do it sooner. I also went to the gym and nearly killed myself on an elliptical machine that wasn't calibrated correctly. Great workout, though. Then I did all my laundry. A pretty busy day, actually, considering. I was disgusted by the people in line at the bank who were saying that all the immigrants should be deported back to Mexico. It's not so much what they said, though I don't agree, but how they said it. The sentiment had such a redneck, bigoted tone to it that I'd been almost certain I'd escaped in my move to Los Angeles.
No work on Tuesday. I pretty much sat around the house all day and watched more Tivo and played some video games I'm reviewing for Collider. Still worn out from the gym on Monday, so that was it until it was time to leave for my Improv Class. My teacher Dave Cox is very good, and far more patient than I would be. There are a couple people who I'm not sure belong in the intermediate level class, including one girl who overanalyzed everything. This week focused on the "status" of your characters, meaning who needs what and who has the power to grant things to others. It was interesting, and I had a couple good moments.
Wednesday I had the hardest time getting myself out of bed. I don't know why, but I was just beat. I finally managed to haul myself and the girls outside for a walk, after which I got going. Brandon brought me some coffee from work, which helped a lot. Gabe and I drove around doing some errands. He had to lend me $100 because Brandon hadn't had enough to pay all of his rent and utilities. I dropped off rent, went to my bank and Gabe's bank, then to the store and home again, where I put together my gym bag and went to the Sherman Oaks Galleria. I've traditionally had a very tough time getting to the bank on my days off, so I'm proud of myself for this. During the course of the day I learned that I am at the top of the list for that HR position, but they're still interviewing for it, and it won't start until Monday. So, AppleOne got me an assignment for Thursday (and probably Friday), and I should know by tomorrow if I'm on this other job on Monday. Here's hoping.
Tonight I scored ticked to see Eddie Izzard, my favorite standup comedian, performing at kind of a small venue (I think). This is exciting and ironic, because I believe he still holds the record for the largest live audience at a non-musical performance. I'm so excited. If you're curious, my friend and improv classmate Benj was the first to respond for the extra ticket, so he'll be joining me.
That's quite a lot of writing for an uneventful week. Explanation: I don't sit down at the computer much at home. I'll try for shorter, more frequent posts at in the future, but that's only likely if I'm working some sort of desk job.
April 28, 2006 AD
What she doesn't know is, I had my knees replaced in the war...
Well, the most interesting thing to happen to me this week was definitely the start of my improv class at Acme Comedy theater. I mentioned going to the Placement class a few weeks ago, and though I planned on starting with the Basic class, I was goaded into auditioning for the intermediate level, and I ended up being accepted in the Level 2: Intermediate class. This not only saved me $350, but it also saved me the 10 weeks I would have spent in the Basic class.
Tuesday was the first class, and I'm proud to say that not only are my improv and comedy skills still there, bubbling under the surface (I've recently been wondering if I'm still funny), but I was probably in the top third, skills-wise, in the class. The focus in this class is "story" since the thrust of Acme is that they perform long-form improv rather than short-form or games for audiences. We did some fun exercises geared at making us comfortable with telling stories as we went along, as well as learning that we don't always have to provide the "funny" in a scene, as long as we take a step, even a small step.
One game was called something like "Convention." Everyone in a circle, someone starts by walking up to someone else in the circle, shaking hands, and introducing themselves as someone else. Name, where you're from, occupation, and in the second round, add two hobbies. At one point I was Billy Batson, former playboy bunny from Anchorage Alaska, who enjoys clay pottery and casual sex. Well, I guess it wasn't 100% inaccurate.
A game called "Neighbors" went this way. One person starts by approaching someone else in the circle and asking "Do you like your neighbors?" The person being asked can either say "no," at which point the two people on his/her sides must switch places, or "yes, but I really don't like ____," at which point anyone fitting that category (people with black shirts, people with glasses, white people, etc) have to move to a different spot. If the person asking the question can get to a vacated space before someone else fills it, that person has to stay in the middle. Get it?
Another game was a story game. Still in a circle, one person starts by telling how their day started, in the third person. ("Travis awoke alone in a strange bed with a huge smile on his face") Then, around the circle, everyone tells the story of that person, one or two sentences at a time. The last person in the circle finishes the story and the whole circle says "And that's the story of Travis!" That little game went all over the place. I'm proud to say I ended up having sex with a nun. Which was bad, but not nearly as bad as the guy who made a harp out of his dead girlfriend's spine.
Lastly, was a game called "Exposition." I say game, but these are really more exercises. There was a definite point. In this one, two people at a time get up in front of the group, are given a location, and start a scene. At some point, the teacher calls "Exposition!" and one person steps out of the scene, says something about their character or the other person's character, then steps back into the scene. The important thing is that though the actors both know what that thing is, the characters don't. One of mine was apparently the line of the night: "What she doesn't know is, I had my knees replaced in the war." After class was over, one of the other students came up to me and said "I was totally hoping you'd go for the artificial knee, but losing it in the war was just icing on the cake."
So, yeah. I'm looking forward to the next nine weeks. After the Intermediate level is Advanced, naturally, which focuses on Character development. After that, you can choose to go to Level 4, or move to the improv performance group. Level 4 is a Writing Lab, where you shift towards sketch comedy. I'll most likely be doing both. Level 5 is the performance lab for sketch, after which you graduate to the sketch performance groups.
Being able to afford to do this is absolutely fantastic for me. I also feel like it's another big step towards my career fulfillment. By the end of the year, I should be on stage (sooner, on Acme jam nights). I'll certainly let you all know when that happens.
April 27, 2006 AD
Locked doors...
I've noticed an (arguably) interesting trend lately. Doors that should be locked to me aren't.
After the gym I stopped at Robeks to get a fruit smoothie. I
walked in and nobody was there. After a second, a head peeked around the
back corner. "Hello?"
"We're closed."
"Oh, what time do you close?"
"Ten o'clock. The door was supposed to be locked."
"Oh, well it's a quarter to now. Can I still get a smoothie?"
"Sure, what would you like?"
Then at home, I was coming from the car with my arms loaded with groceries and my workout bag, and the door to the stairwell was unlocked, letting me get upstairs without having to fumble with my keys and the bags.
Soon after that, while working an assignment at Disney where I had not yet been assigned an access card for the security door (and thus had to call someone on the lobby phone or wait for someone to happen by and let me in), suddenly the door was no longer locked, and I could get in and out as I pleased, until I was given an ID card that granted me regular access.
So I'm wondering, it this some kind of sign? Should I be looking out for other "doors" that might be opening for me? Or will they open only when I need them to be? And is it real doors, or metaphorical doors, as in opportunities? Or is it all just a big coincidence and I should find something better to do with my time at work than write pointless blog entries?
Yeah, that might be it.
April 26, 2006 AD
No Shame highlights.
With the exception of last weekend, I've been going to No Shame Theater for a month or so now, and I thought I'd start sharing the best line from every show. I've explained No Shame before, but if you missed it, it's basically a cross between live theater, sketch comedy, and improv. Comedy is not a prerequisite, but it usually turns out that way. You can write just about anything, show up at 10pm on a Friday night, cast your piece from the actors milling about, rehearse for an hour, and the show goes up at 11pm. It's great fun, for $5, and that includes a drink.
Again, I'd love for this top be a regular thing for more of my friends to take part in, especially the ones interested in acting and/or writing. Brandon, Chris, Jeb, Matt, Jeremy, Nick, you all qualify.
Without further ado, the best lines of the last couple shows I attended.
April 7th, 2006:
Abraham is talking to God about being given the land of Canaan for all time,
in exchange for all his descendants being circumcised. Abraham asks God if
he didn't like foreskins, why didn't he just make man without them?
"Oh, I like foreskins." God replies, "I like to seem them
cut off."
April 14th, 2006:
A little girl has just fired the monster under her bed, whose job it was to
give her parents a reason to pay more attention to her. The monster, now
jobless, lights up a cigarette and leaves through the window. The parents,
hearing talking, come into the room and smell the cigarette smoke.
Furious, they leave their daughter alone, but not before the mother says:
"I wish I could have died four minutes ago, when you were still my perfect
little angel!"
April 25, 2006 AD - part III
Excessive Blogging. Last one today, I promise.
Wow, I'm sorry for the length of that last blog. Those that made it through, congrats. My sincerest apologies for the distinct lack of anything interesting. Perhaps this will whet your whistle...
I forgot to mention this in the big blog earlier today, but before I set out
for Bakersfield last Saturday, I stopped for coffee at my old Starbucks. I
got my venti drip and made my way to the condiment bar. Whilst doling out
my cream and sugar, this regular looking fellow surreptitiously approached me.
"Hey," he half-whispers, "are you a good judge of faces?"
"Uh... why do you ask?"
"Well, I think that guy over there is Elton John." My heart
leapt a little. I mean, it wasn't outside the realm of possibility. I've
seem so many famous people in Starbucks it's not funny. Rene Zelweger, Tim
Allen, Dave Foley, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bobcat Goldthwait, and Olivia
Newton-John to name only a few. Perhaps Sir Elton was in town and
getting a solo-grande percent no foam sugar free vanilla latte with whipped
cream!
"Which one?" I asked, lowering my voice to conspiratorial levels.
"Over there waiting for his drink. With the baseball cap."
Baseball cap?!? Would Sir Elton, gayest of the gay, be wearing
such a thing? I've seen celebrities in baseball caps, trying to keep a low
profile, but I wasn't sure the words "low profile" had ever applied to
him...
I peeked non-chalantly around the corner, and locked onto the only person
in that direction wearing a cap. A gentleman around 5'11" (Elton
tops out at 5'7", without heels), and thin (Elton has put on a little
weight these past few years), sporting jeans and a flannel shirt to go with his
baseball cap. I turned back to the man I instantly nicknamed Sherlock
Holmes.
"No." I said, a faint smile itching across my lips. "That's
not him."
"Are you su--"
"It's not. It's really, really not. You can trust me."
With that, I left. People never cease to amaze me.
April 25, 2006 AD - part II
Save yourselves! Read my review of It Waits!!!
I had to watch It Waits for Collider.com. Because I'm primarily their video game guy, I guess I get the bottom of the barrel when it comes to DVDs...
Whew!
If anything good can come from the experience, it will be
that I can warn some of you from wasting your time and money on this garbage.
If you're ok with wasting time, and are a bit of a masochist, I'll lend you the
DVD. It does feature a set of enormous boobies.
Read
it!
April 25, 2006 AD
Interesting week... To me at least.
I would say my interesting week started about 10 days ago. It was Friday, the end of a long but easy week. A week with it's share of drama , sure, but nothing so bad I remember it now (except not going to Oilcan Harry's because of Brandon drama, which I'm happy to say seems to have vanished now that he has his car back).
Friday night (this would be the 14th), I went from work to the gym for a great workout, and then to No Shame Theater with Steve Phelan. I'd written a little scene about two monkeys in a zoo, and even though I got there late, I was cast in another short about Judas betraying Jesus in the style of Brokeback Mountain. Both pieces were well-received, lotsa laughs. Steve and I headed directly home afterwards because I had an arrangement to meet a friend at Commerce Casino to help him learn to play Texas Hold 'Em before he played in this big tournament in Vegas. This was our second lesson. The previous week I'd won $200 and was pretty happy with myself. I figured I'd play $100, and if I lost I'd still be ahead. I ended up turning that $100 into $600. I couldn't believe it. Everything was falling my way. I'd catch flushes when I needed them, flop sets on my small pairs, and generally kick ass.
Saturday I want shopping.
I haven't done much shopping since I moved to LA. For the most part I've been too poor, and I tend to be, ah, frugal most of the time. But I had to give Brandon a ride to work at around 10 or 11, and afterwards I stopped at the Sketchers outlet and picked up two new pair of shoes - one for general use and one for the gym. I stopped briefly at Costco to check out their selection, then I cruised on over to Target for some general stuff - underwear, t-shirts, and some workout clothes. After a stop at Petco I was still so jazzed and feeling very productive, I went to the gym for another intense workout.
Sunday Coffee Night was a dismal failure. It was only me and Gabe, and I tried to play a game called "Ploy" with him. It's like chess, but different. I thought it was cool, Gabe hated it and got frustrated when he lost. Brandon showed up late and I beat him at a quick game, then we headed home. As for the low turnout, I guess I only have myself to blame. A few weeks after I started Sunday Night Coffee, it was pretty big, but I was actively inviting people. I'd hoped that it would become a regular event, but people tend to forget about things if they're not invited. I'll keep doing it when I'm available, hopefully more people will come.
Monday was my last day of work in the temp position at Disney. I wasn't terribly worried, since I'd been consistently placed in positions since I started with AppleOne. However, I ended up with 3 days off. How productive was I during that time? Not at all. I was so freakin' lazy it wasn't funny. Though I did help Brandon get his car back, so that was nice. I didn't get my own car registration dealt with. I really need to just get that over with, before I get towed again. Friday I got an emergency call from AppleOne to go work an assignment that goes through the 28th. I did that, then went to the gym. I'd been really excited all week because my friend Matt was coming down from Bakersfield for the weekend. We'd spent two really fun weekends together recently but they'd only been about a day each. This time he was driving down Friday, and leaving Sunday. I took a break after my cardio, however, to check my voicemail, and he'd left a message about various reasons he didn't want to drive down. I was pretty upset about it. I called him back and we talked on the phone for half an hour, while I was sitting there in the locker room. One of his concerns was that his parents hadn't met me and had no idea who I was. So, by the end of the conversation, I'd decided he wasn't going to come down, so I told him I was driving to Bakersfield. And I did. But for the remainder of Friday night I was a little pissy, so I blew off No Shame, and went to the casino early, meeting two friends there. This time, the Poker Gods were not with me. I had pocket aces broken, Queens, eights (by K7, and he caught both pair!) and ended up losing my $100 buy-in, plus another $100, which was a mistake. If you're playing well - I only made one real mistake - but the cards aren't falling your way, it's time to leave. I went to bed decidedly crabby Friday night.
I overslept Saturday morning. I'd meant to be on the road by noon, but didn't' wake up till 1:30 or so. As it turned out, though, it was a good thing. It was late enough that my paycheck arrived in the mail, so I stopped by the bank to deposit it. After the transaction was done, the banker told me the funds would be in my account Monday after midnight. I gaped a little, I guess, and asked if I even got the instant $100 credit, like you get when you use the ATM. He said no, but that he saw three fees on my account that he'd go ahead and reverse. These were three $33 overdraft fees that were left over from a series of seven I was charged in February. I'd already had four of them reversed and had long since resigned myself to the other three. But bam, a free $100! As it turns out, it was the start to a pretty great day.
The drive to Bakersfield is actually quite pleasant. The 5 takes you through the mountains to the grapevine, which is a long, flat basin full of farms. It was very pretty, and only a hundred miles. Thus, I made it in under an hour and a half. I arrived at Matt's house, met his dad, and we took off to take a tour of Bakersfield. We stopped at Best Buy to try to play the Xbox 360, which was broken, and by the time we were done with that, it was time to meet his folks for dinner at Black Angus. We got the filet mignon dinner for two, which was delicious. Matt's parents were great, and all in all I think everyone had a great time. After dinner, we went back to the house to relax a bit before meeting Matt's friend and his boyfriend for a movie. We were going to see The Sentinel but the other pair were too late, so we decided on Silent Hill instead. I thought it was a good enough adaptation of the game, and enjoyed it far more than most critics seem to be. We were going to go back to Matt's place but his friend suggested Denny's, so we went there instead. We got there first, but after getting a table, they called Matt and said they didn't feel like Denny's anymore. So Matt and I went back to his place and passed a couple hours before I set out for home.
Sunday was, again, lazy. I decided not to go to an audition for Shakespeare by the Sea, which is doing "A Comedy of Errors" and "Hamlet" this year. I'd love to play Hamlet before I get too old, but I'm not at all sure I have time right now to do theater. Plus, I haven't practiced any of my Shakespeare monologues in years. Oh well. After a tired day yesterday, I'm back on track. I start my Improv class at Acme Comedy School tonight, so I'll post tomorrow and tell you all about it! You! Whoever you are...
April 17, 2006 AD
Collide with Density!! (It's a Titanic and Back to the Future Reference)
One possible downside of my recent level of social activity is the forced
decrease in my submissions to Collider.com
(which is a conspicuous absentee from my recap of the past few months). I have
this friend, see, who used to be a contributor to Ain't It Cool News, perhaps
the premiere purveyor of movie and TV gossip on the Webernet. Last summer, he
decided to strike out on his own and created Collider. Not designed to be a
competitor, but rather approach entertainment from a different direction.
Firstly, he wanted it to be more inclusive of things like music, sports, video
games, and porn. And so it was. The site launched in July, and I spoke with him
shortly after. Having lots of time on my hands, and being an avid gamer, I
agreed to review games and the occasional DVD for the site. I've probably done
close to 20 submissions to date, and it's pretty great. I've seen my writing
style evolve a bit, and I've even undertaken some news reporting
responsibilities. However, reviewing a video game is not like reviewing a DVD.
with a movie, you watch the movie, make note of the audio and video quality,
watch some special features, and you're done. Maximum time investment? 3-5
hours. With a video game, I generally put in a minimum of 10 hours of play just
to get the feel for the game, and that doesn't include special features or take
into account finishing the game. Thus, I've had to cut WAY back on my work for
the site, which I really feel bad about.
It's been nice to be with Collider almost since the beginning, and I hope to
reorganize my time and do more, especially once the next gen systems are out
(they get 360 games that I can't review since I don't own one of the beasts!).
For now, check out the site, it's very interesting. I'm down to one item
at a time, but you can search for Travis Richey and see old articles I've
written. Besides, where else can you find a mainstream entertainment site
that covers the porn beat? hehe :-)
This is Travis Richey, last surviving member of the Nostromo, signing off...
April 13, 2006 AD
I forgot the snappy headline I thought of earlier...
My social life is suddenly very full. Frankly, I'm amazed, since mere months
ago I spent most of my days sitting in front of the TV wishing there was more
stuff to watch on the Tivo... Having a regular schedule is a boon to doing
stuff.
Sundays are coffee nights. Just a bunch of guys
getting together for coffee, conversation, chess, and... another "c"
word... canoodling? Well, maybe, I guess. But mainly I started it
because in the land of dance clubs, there aren't a lot of venues to actually
chat with other nice people. Oh! "Chat!" That's a
"c" word...
Mondays are currently free, and very soon may be my only
free night.
Tuesdays were previously occupied by Karaoke night. I
love Karaoke, but have rarely found a nice place at which to practice the
ancient art. But this place (I hesitate to name it or it may lose its power)
isn't too crowded, so you can easily sing 4 or 5 times in a night, has a great
selection of music, and a high percentage of the other singers are actually good.
Also, they have a pool table, if you're bored between songs. The other
patrons of the bar are all very supportive, as well. Starting on the 25th,
though, I'll be attending my improv class.
Wednesdays were momentarily going to be occupied by that improv
class until last night, when I was informed of the adjustment. Now, since
the night is free, I may try to attend a new Tae Kwan Do class my friends Nick
and Jeremy started. It seems to be a hit with my friends, and I do miss
the karate.
Thursdays, and you're not going to fracking believe this, is
Line Dancing night. I know, I'm writing it myself and thinking "really?
I do that?" But yeah, Nick and Jeremy (of Tae Kwan Do fame)
dragged me, kicking and screaming, to Oilcan Harry's in Studio City.
I proceeded to enjoy myself immensely.
Fridays are taken up by No
Shame Theater. It's a fun theater experience that lies somewhere
between improv, sketch comedy, and live theater. The gist is, you're
either a writer or an actor, or both. Writers show up about 9:45pm and
check in with their pieces. At 10pm, they start casting their scenes.
If you're an actor, stand around looking winsome and try to get yourself cast in
a scene. Sometimes this is easier than others. Sometimes you'll get
cast in a scene where your only line is "Yes." Sometimes
you'll get cast in such scenes several weeks in a row. However,
it's fun time. If you're in the area and have a bit of interest, I invite
you to join me. It costs $5. But that does include a free Coke.
Saturdays, officially, aren't anything. However; I'm
lobbying to get game night, which had at one point been on Saturday, back to
that holiest of days. Wait, not holy... sexy. Saturday is the
sexiest of days. Game night has been held on Fridays recently, and I'm
getting the idea that there's some reticence to revert to Saturday. So I
guess I might have Saturdays free after all. It remains to be seen.
Besides all this, I try to go to the gym at least four times a week. This
eats up a lot of time, seeing as how I tend to spend at least three hours at the
gym with each visit. It's paying off, though, I look better than I have in
years. The short and the long of it is that I don't seem to have a lot of
free time. Now? Programming is getting deleted off my Tivo because
it's full of shows to watch. In the end it's better to be
busy, though, than not.
April 12, 2006 AD
Don't blog angry!
Here I am, about to post my first actual myspace web log since catching up with my entries on Live Journal (I have previously announced in that venue that I would catch up with the events of the last few months - see my website if you want to read them - and make the move to myspace), and I pause. It may be that I'm exhausted from getting a scant two hours of sleep last night, or it could be that I am overwhelmed by the feeling that the majority of my local social circle seems to think I'm a jerk. No matter what the source, I'm in a decidedly negative space today, and I think it's not the best place to be when I write a journal entry.
I would very much like to keep my blog-like journal a place for you to come, O reader, for your semi-regular injection of wit or interesting trivia. Sometimes both, perhaps. I make a point here to say semi-regular because if wit and interesting trivia were medicines you had to take for some freaky form of humor diabetes, I would be uncomfortable having your life in my unreliable, procrastinating hands. Either Penny Arcade or The Onion may capably serve as your pharmacist of funny.
The point is, I don't want to cast a shadow on what is otherwise a whole bunch of good things happening to me these days. Come back tomorrow after I've had a chance to sweat a little at the gym and get a good night's sleep.
April 6, 2006 AD
Everything bad happens over the hill...
Last time, on Travis' Life:
It was January! Travis was eligible to join SAG, the result of over a
year of working for minimum wage! BAM! He was hit by a stupid person
while driving home from an appointment with a talent manager who didn't have the
resources to represent him! After a couple months of dealing with
insurance and car dealerships and body shops, his car is back in is possession,
nearly good as new! After a couple months of physical therapy, he is too
(though several pounds flabbier)! Could things be turning around for our
beloved T-Rav??? And now the conclusion...
I was free of the need to live in near-poverty. Christmas had given me a
slight reprieve with checks from family, but the tragedy that befell my calling
service threatened to plunge me back into the abyss of financial instability.
One of my friends worked for a temp agency that was set up to fill all of the
temps for Fox Studios, and he gave me a referral to them. I made an
appointment, and drove over the hill to Fox, which is near Beverly Hills.
I took all the usual computer tests, and met with the manager of Ultimate
Staffing, and was told to check in every week, but that it'd take a couple weeks
to get me into the system.
So I started the trip home, planning on going to another temp agency I had been
told about, as well as look into some favors I could ask of friends in high
places. As I turned west onto Santa Monica Blvd, a motorcycle
cop flashed his lights at me and pulled me over. I think I actually knew
what he was pulling me over for right away, since I had my seat belt fastened,
and I wasn't speeding, hadn't run a light or made an illegal turn... my
registration.
<sigh>
See, one of the things I had put off when I moved to LA was getting my car
registered. It's far more expensive than it is in Wisconsin, and I figured
I'd be relatively safe with my Wisconsin plates. I've heard that police
don't like to deal with out-of-state plates. I guess I heard wrong.
Or perhaps the BHPD is just more tenacious than most. So here I was, 2
years and one month expired, and nothing in my car was where it was supposed to
be, since I'd removed everything after the accident. I eventually found my
insurance paperwork, but the cop told me he was having my car impounded because
of expired registration. After everything I'd been through the last couple
of months, this was just too much. I'm a bit ashamed to admit it, but I
burst out crying right there along side Santa Monica Blvd. I had just paid
my car off, and I swear I had planned on using the next bit of money I came into
to get my registration up-to-date. I couldn't believe my bad luck. I
had NO money at all. I didn't even know how I was going to get home, let
alone look for a job. I needed a car to look for a job, but I needed money
to get my car back, but I needed a job to have any money... So before I knew it,
the tow truck guy was there, trying to get my to calm down. The Beverly
Hills Cop, too. They actually gave me a couple of bucks to take the bus
home. And they took my car.
Then the world surprised me. I got a call from my grandma asking how I
was, and I told her. Instead of telling me how stupid or foolish I was for
not getting my car registered before then, she demanded to know how much money I
needed to get it back. Before I knew it she had had my uncle transfer
$1,000 into my Wells Fargo account via his Wells Fargo account, which
more than covered the cost of the impound fee and registration. When she
did chastise me, the only thing she said was that I should have told her sooner I
needed money for the registration, and it would have cost half or a third as
much. I don't know if she already knew how badly I felt, or simply didn't
care about anything but that I was okay.
But that's not all. I still had to find a way to get around LA the next
day to get my car back (Impound lot fees increased every day they had my car).
Brandon couldn't do it. By that time he'd been in his own accident and his
car was undriveable. The person who came to my rescue was a friend I'd met
a scant two weeks earlier at a mutual friend's birthday party. Without
even being asked he took off work early, and carted my sorry ass all over
Hollywood and Beverly Hills paying fees and picking up my car. Then he
took me out to eat to make me feel better. I have rarely had
someone do something so nice for me, let alone someone I barely knew. It
really took my breath away.
But that's not all!! I was still reeling from not having a
job, and had fallen behind on paying the utilities for the apartment. I
was also not at all certain I'd have enough to pay all of my rent. So I
went to my grandmother, who unquestioningly deposited another $1,000 into my
account. By that time, I was just floored. Since returning from Las
Vegas I had gone as far into the pit of despair as I'd been since moving to
LA. At that moment, I realized, this was the turning point. What
happened next sealed the deal.
I made an appointment at AppleOne, a temp agency I'd heard did a lot of work for
Universal Studios and Disney. I filled out the application online and made
an appointment the next day at the Glendale office. I went in (stopping on
the way to drop off a pound of coffee and a condolence note at Kalifornia
Kasting), took all the computer tests (Word, Excel, Outlook, Windows, etc), and
aced them all. I mean, 100% on all the basic skills. I also made a
bit of a connection with the ladies working the staffing office, because I
mentioned that I'd auditioned for American Idol and it started a conversation.
I promised the next time I came in I'd sing a song and bring an Americano from Starbucks to the one lady I sat down with, Anna. She seemed impressed with
my work and told me she'd try to find me something. I went home, feeling
productive. Before I even got home, Anna called me and said she had a
one-day assignment the next day at Disney. It didn't really utilize any of
my skills, but it was something. Yeah, I thought. It's
work, and something is better than nothing. I was expecting her to
say that it paid about $9/hour. Maybe $10. I got $11.50 for my work
at the W Hotel, and I busted my hump at that job. "It pays $16
an hour," Anna said. Um. Suuuure, I guess I'll take it. I
showed up the next day, and my job was to literally put pictures in picture
frames all day. And get paid more to do it per hour than I earned as an
Assistant Manager at Starbucks. The woman I was working with liked me so
much she asked if I could come back a couple more days the next week. I
said yes. Good god, yes. When that assignment was done, Anna called
me to tell me I had a longer, three week assignment one floor higher at the
Disney Tower, acting as an Executive Assistant for two VPs while their usual
assistant was out on maternity leave. It was a lot of work, but very easy
for me because it relied on my brain and using computers all day. I also
got unrestricted internet access (for which to catch up on my journal entries).
This job paid $18 per hour. I also found out that AppleOne provides a
Health Plan option for their employees that's pretty sweet. So now I've
got health coverage.
I've been working steadily around Disney since then. Because I'm a temp,
expectations are very low, yet I make an impact wherever I am, and everybody
seems to like me. I have a regular schedule and every weekend off.
And I'm quickly emerging from the financial morass I was
bogged down in. Life is good again.
(For the record, the towing happened before the car dealership thing. I
just remembered that I had been on my way to the dealership for an appointment
to look at the noise my car was making when I got pulled over.)
April 6, 2006 AD
A ray of sunshine on a cloudy day
Well, I've shared a lot of drama recently, so I thought I'd slow down a bit
and briefly tell about one nice thing that happened recently.
Last Christmas I was effectively alone. No family, friends were mostly out
of town or had their own plans, even Brandon had to work. Surprisingly I
got a call from a family friend by the name of Jim Snelling, who had a place up
by Santa Barbara, CA. I'd last seen him before I moved to Los Angeles,
about three years ago. He has a plot of land in the rolling hills about
two miles off the ocean, and he build his house himself. It's a beautiful,
quaint little abode, brimming with love in the way only a house built by hand
can be. He invited me up for Christmas, since his kids were out of town,
and he was no longer married and also alone for the holiday. I drove up
the coast and when I got there, we eschewed the lunch idea in favor of a
home-made meal. Omelettes with fresh lobster he caught himself, home grown
grilled vegetables, and home-made ice tea. Ooh, and the most delicious
chocolate truffles for desert. After, we decided to go on a hike up the
Santa Barbara mountains. It was a dreary day, and cool, but not foul.
The air had a very mysterious feel to it. We hiked to the top, Jim
pointing out all the flora on the way up. He even spotted a cute little
snake that I picked up and took some pictures and video of with my phone.
By the time we got to the summit, we were standing in the low-level clouds, and I
could almost imagine we were the last people on Earth.
We walked back down, getting to the car right around dark. We drove back
to Jim's place, I think I fell asleep on the way, and I grabbed a refill of the
tea and hopped in my own car and drove home. It was a very simply day, but
one that not only will I remember for a long time, but one I suspect many people
will never experience. California kicks ass.
April 5, 2006 AD
If there were any doubt...
If there were any doubt that my next computer would be an Apple
something-or-other (iSomething), the last remaining argument to my conversion
has been sighted and smited.
Behold, Bootcamp.
Now I no longer have to worry about having Windows apps (read: games)
that aren't compatible with Mac OSX. Seems I can run Windows XP now, too.
Now the only middling question is, will there be driver support for Mac
hardware? And will Vista work, whenever the hell it comes out, because
it'll probably be next year before I can afford a new computer? And will I
even bother running Windows at all? I mean, I'm mostly a console gamer
anyway... mostly. hehe
April 3, 2006 AD
Bite-sized entries... This time I mean it. Or not.In the time since my last "live" update, my beloved bauble of the moment (iPod Nano) was quickly supplanted by the iPod video, which I now downright covet, along with most of the rest of Apple’s lineup. I'm going to make an effort to provide you with the Reader's Digest condensed versions, because so much has happened in the last few months that it would take a novel to cover in any real detail. Granted, it would be a short novel, but “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe” was only about 225 pages. And that was in a pretty large font. With pictures. So, in an effort to catch up to current goings-on, I’m just going to go ahead and give the Cliff’s Notes version. Some of it’s good, a lot of it’s bad, but nothing I can’t (and didn’t) survive. And hopefully? Come out better on the other side.
Note: Some of the names and dates my have been changed to protect my
memory. Oh, also, the order of events might have been adjusted to be more
interesting. First, some good news:
First, a little background (no pun intended): In order to be eligible for the
Screen Actors Guild by way of extra work, you must get 3 union pay vouchers.
Getting these is a bit complicated. Contracts between SAG and the
Producers union stipulate that there must be a certain number of SAG
background on every TV show or movie. If for some reason they aren't
able to fill that quota, they must still pay that higher wage to someone, so
they give a non-union extra the higher-value pay voucher. Make sense?
Simple? Well, it's not nearly as easy as it sounds. In over a year
of background work, asking nicely, forging insincere one-day relationships with
Production Assistants and Assistant Directors, I didn't get one.
The thing of it is, a union extra can easily bank over $300 in a day with
overtime, meal penalties, mileage, etc. What starving actor would give
that up?
When we got back from Vegas, I went back to work as an extra. One of my
first calls was a fitting for a six day shoot on Steven Soderberg's The
Good German, starring George Clooney and Cate Blanchette. Now, this
was great, because it was six days of work in a row. Considering that I
was earning so little money, I needed to work as often as I could. Well,
it turned out that I was one of the "marching soldiers," so we were
actually there for two days of marching training, and four days of filming.
The best part? When we checked in for the first day of rehearsal,
everyone saw that we were getting paid $150/8 hours. Normally, non-union
extras get paid $54/8, which is minimum wage out here. Yeah. I did
that for a year. The cool thing was, union
extras only get paid $122/8, so all of us soldi